Say My Name, Say My Name
by sabrinaw
Summary: Sesshoumaru is broke, busted and disgusted. But just when he feels like all hope is lost, a strange girl appears, with one odd request. But hey, he's making money, right? SessKag


**Say My Name, Say My Name**

**A/N: Okay, it's 4 am in the morning, and I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind when I was writing this. It's funny to me now, but in the morning, I'll probably be like, "Dude, what the frick? I wrote this? Me? Eh...seems bout right." **

**Soooo...I hope you guys enjoy it? **

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Sesshoumaru glared at the ground as he sat on a park bench, sparring a brief moment to scowl at the hapless kiddies and happy couples playing in the park, before returning to the problem at hand.

Today was a bad day. And it was all because his damn father kicked him out of the house a while ago, after trying to kill InuYasha. ...twice in one week...and nearly succeeding. Two months out on his own and he was about ready to have a mental break down. Not ONLY was he two weeks late on the rent of his shitty apartment, but he hadn't had enough money to pay the electricity, so the fuckers ended up cutting it off.

So now he was taking cold showers. He was pretty sure one more cold shower would turn him into a girl. _'Sesshoumara Taishou. Bet Inuyasha would love that.'_

He blinked. That actually didn't sound half bad.

_'Sesshoumara Taishou...hmm...has a nice ring to it...' _

Briefly, he entertained the idea of changing his name to Sesshoumara, deciding that if he wanted his father to let him back inside the house anytime soon, he'd better keep his name as it was. Atleast until he was able to get home and finally succeed in killing his brother. _Then_ he'd move to Canada and take up the name.

Inwardly groaning at how his thoughts seemed to grow weirder by the second, he shook his head. The cold showers were getting to him. The water was seeping into his brain, and turning him into a girl. Mentally.

He did a retake. _'Wait what?' _ Showers turning him into a girl? What HAS happened to him?

_Damned _"WATER"...the last part was said outloud, without him even noticing it, which was why he liked to shit himself (he just wasn't used to the outside world) when someone shouted, "OH THAT WAS SO NEAT!"

Looking up, he blinked at a raven haired girl with blue eyes. She must have been only a few years younger than him. Maybe even more, judging how stupidly she was grinning at him.

"What?"

"The way you said that word, water, it was like...evil..." Her eyes got wide, as if contemplating something. All was silence for a while, as they stared at eachother.

Finally, she spoke.

"Hey, hey, say cheese and crackers."

Now it was his turn for his eyes to widden. "What?"

"Do it, you know you want to."

An eyebrow raised. "Not particuarly, no."

"I'll give you ten bucks..." She waved the money tauntingly, as if knowing he was on the verge of woman-hood.

And before he could stop himself, he was saying, "Make it twenty."

"Deal."

Was he desperate for a hot shower or what?

He jerked the two tens out of her hand before she could regain her senses and change her mind. He was GETTING that shower.

Silence.

And then...

"Well?" She asked, her foot tapping expectently.

"Oh. You were serious?"

"DAMN STRAIGHT I WAS! SAY IT!"

He smirked. "No."

He had twenty bucks! He was ontop of the food chain now! What did he have to fear?

But the woman, damn her. She just smirked back.

"Do it or i'll cry."

Growling, he forced himself to say the words, putting as much venom and hatred into said words as humanly possible. "Cheese. And. Crackers."

Maybe now the woman would leave him alone.

But noooo, the woman just squealed, jumped up and down for a bit, before yelling, "NOW SAY POLLY WANNA CRACKER!"

He simply stared. Waiting.

A blink. "What?"

"That's going to cost you twenty more dollars."

She pouted, glancing in her wallet, and then back at him. A scowl. "Fine."

He took the money, mentally howling with glee. TWO SHOWERS NOW!!! Maybe by the time this was over, he'd be able to afford to retire, living in a mansion much fancier than his father's.

"SAY IT!"

A deadly glare. "Polly. Wanna. Cracker."

More hopping and squealing, followed by another request. "SKITTLES!!!"

A blink. "What?"

"SKITTLES!!!"

Another blink, followed by a pause.

The woman sighed. "That's gonna be another twenty, isn't it?"

"Afraid so."

She handed the money over, growling when he simply smirked back, refusing to say 'skittles'. So the fricker was gonna play that way, was he? Gathering air into her lungs, she began shouting, "HELP! RAPE! FIRE! SOMEONE CALL 9-1---"

He glared at her, his hand firmly clenched over her mouth, his unique gold eyes flashing irritably. "Fine. _Skittles._ Happy?"

Sesshoumaru paused, adding up the total. "And you owe me fourty dollars."

The woman sighed happily. "Yeah, I know, but it was so worth it." She gave the fourty dollars to him, before making another request, adding an extra twenty.

"Say my name."

"My name."

Her face turned red slightly. "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU JERK!"

"That's not what I meant you jerk." He quoated dutifully. A slight smirk."And I wont even charge you for that one."

The woman chose to stomp about the bench angrily, calling him nice colorful words.

For fear of loosing his buisness, he smoothly pointed out that she never told him her name, which caused the girl to blush slightly. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry."

She left him waiting...knowing he was too curious to pass it up.

...he didn't wait for long. "Well?"

"Well what?"

A growl. "What is your name wench?"

"That's gonna cost you twenty bucks."

His eyes widened slightly. "What?"

"You heard me!"

A scoff. Like he really cared what her name was anyways. "Oh and you owe me...one hundred...and fourty dollars." There that'd show her.

"A HUNDRED FOURTY DOLLARS?!? YOU FUCKIN INSANE?!?!" More colorful words and rash threats about bodily harm, before handing him the money.

"Meh. Fine. Here."

He smirked as he caught the name cross-stitched into her wallet. "Many thanks, Kagome."

She nodded slightly before scowling in realization. "DAMNIT!!! NO FAIR! YOU CHEATED!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Too."

Another smirk. "One hundred and twenty more dollars."

Kagome's eyes narrowed sharply. "Oh you're goood."

She handed him the money. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Twenty more dollars."

Growling at how rediculous the game was getting, she went to pull the money out, only to see that her wallet was threadbare. "awwww...I don't have any more money...damnit...I just got payed too."

Sesshoumaru stared at her. "You waisted your money, on getting me to talk to you?"

"Uh...yeah...pretty much so."

Why was the woman still happy? She was going to have to take cold showers now! And if cold showers were turning him into a girl, then what would cold water to do HER?

Glaring, he handed her the money back, cursing himself for always helping out the greater good. "I don't need it anyway."

A greatful smile. "Thanks."

"Meh."

Kagome snickered as she pocketed the money. "Hey, you never did tell me, what's your name?"

"You can call me Sesshoumara."

"Sesshoumara? What are you, a girl?"

"...that hasn't been decided yet."

And that is how Sesshoumaru/a and Kagome became friends.

And life-long mates. But that, my dear children, is a story for a different time.

I would, however, be persuaded to tell it for twenty dollars. XD

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**sooooo, what'dya think? **


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